Childhood Fantasy

xxx-xxxx1: looking for things to get hot?

xxx-xxxx2: mm yah wanna dip your chicken tenders in my deep fryer?

xxx-xxxx1: if you can get it hot enough for me..

xxx-xxxx2: cant wait for you to pop my bubbles

xxx-xxxx1: turn my nozzle if you wanna get those bubbles goin..

xxx-xxxx2: ill turn it on extra hot get that rubber ducky movin

Don't sext behind my back..

xxx-xxxx1: OMG i'm SO horny
xxx-xxxx2: Tell me how horny...
xxx-xxxx1: I dont know ____ might get jealous...
xxx-xxxx2: He's a big baby he needs a spanking
xxx-xxxx1: Been there, and then some...

sextual misfire

xxx-xxxx1:So, should we proposition him on the threesome?

xxx-xxxx2: i don't see why not..Everyone here hates us.

xxx-xxxx1: I think he knows, he keeps looking over here.

xxx-xxxx2: I think we're making him nervous.

xxx-xxxx3: Who are we making nervous?

xxx-xxxx1: I just texted him on accident instead of you omg everyone in the room is staring.

watchu know about baby sext?

xxx-xxxx1: Send more noodies lol omg

xxx-xxxx2: Not till you gimme a tweat lol

xxx-xxxx1: what kind do you want :)

xxx-xxxx2: like sexy

xxx-xxxx1: no you first!

xxx-xxxx2: I already sent a cockshot jeeez!

xxx-xxxx1: Yah but it was a softserve and i wanna popsicle :)

xxx-xxxx2: OMGGG u naughty bitch lol

xxx-xxxx1: 8=====D

xxx-xxxx2: No yr soo naughty go ot ur room big bad baby

xxx-xxxx1: mm yah i need to be spanked like a baby
xxx-xxxx1: Wanna suck on my binky?

xxx-xxxx2: Binky or Pinky or Pussy?

xxx-xxxx1: binky, so you will?

xxx-xxxx2: oh yah :)

xxx-xxxx1: rip my bib

xxx-xxxx2: gimmme the juicy :)
xxx-xxxx2: yer so crazy just need a squeeze,a poke, n a bib

xxx-xxxx1: rip my onesie off and squeeeze my botttle

xxx-xxxx2: I just wanna fondle you

xxx-xxxx1: I rly want to be fondled like a little girl

xxx-xxxx2: OMG i will pinch u
xxx-xxxx2: suck u
xxx-xxxx2: squeeze you
xxx-xxxx2: grab u
xxx-xxxx2: lick u

xxx-xxxx1: yupyup do it all to me:)

xxx-xxxx2: what do you want the most..besides a bib?

xxx-xxxx1: mmm I really want you to tie me up in a baby chair....

Is your diaper wet yet?

xxx-xxxx(1): U r horn E
xxx-xxxx(2): what lol
xxx-xxxx(1):I love big buns tho just about my favs
xxx-xxxx(2): U-B-A-D lol
xxx-xxxx(1): I just want some Gnargnar
xxx-xxxx(2):WUZ TTHAT, will you feed it to me?
xxx-xxxx(1): gnargnar? It's the most sacred diamond in the world and you find em in between legs lol
xxx-xxxx(2): lolol do you have a BON-R or something?
xxx-xxxx(1):I want to stick it on a bum or pan
xxx-xxxx(2): U want my hot cross bunz?
xxx-xxxx(1): Yea def me want want
xxx-xxxx(2):Wanna get under my umbrella?
xxx-xxxx(1): mmm pop u open for the perfect storm

horny goat weed

xxx-xxxx1: horny ying-yang
xxx-xxxx2: horny beach party!
xxx-xxxx1: rub sand on my g-spot
xxx-xxxx2: rub sun block on my t-spot
xxx-xxxx1: damn, i just came
xxx-xxxx2: me too i think
xxx-xxxx1: well good then, i can't stand being a selfish lover
xxx-xxxx2: but i am a shell-fish lover
xxx-xxxx1: "i like it when you pull my hair".
xxx-xxxx2: how did you know that did i tell you?
xxx-xxxx1: harder.faster.louder
xxx-xxxx2: say my name
xxx-xxxx1: scream mine
xxx-xxxx2: don't pull out
xxx-xxxx1: cum on my chest
xxx-xxxx2: facial abuse
xxx-xxxx1: get it in the shower with me
xxx-xxxx2: power shower
xxx-xxxx1: treat me like the slut i am
xxx-xxxx2: are you in a walk-in fridgerator right now?
xxx-xxxx1: yes and i'm horny
xxx-xxxx2: good because my skin is so hot its going to melt your popsicle
xxx-xxxx1: give me that hot skin.

by holes do you mean earring holes? they closed up... sorry

xxx-xxxx1: it's my birthday this weekend, i need to borrow your holes
xxx-xxxx2: happy birthday they're all yours
xxx-xxxx1: i wanna come over and cover your ass in lube then flip you over and fuck your throat with my balls slapping against your face
xxx-xxxx2: you're making me so wet. i can't wait i want you to smack my ass and fuck me so hard it hurts.
xxx-xxxx1: i'm so hard right now
xxx-xxxx2: i hope you're touching yourself thinking about me
xxx-xxxx1: i wish i could but i'm at work, i can't even stand up right now

First World Problem

I ran out of blue cheese and i just wanna dip my fries.

dirty water

xxx-xxxx(1): Have you ever done a guy with a strap on?
xxx-xxxx(2): It's kind of my specialty
xxx-xxxx(1): Is it huge??
xxx-xxxx(1): Have you really done that? It seems like the guy would have to be black out drunk.
xxx-xxxx(2): I think we both know guys that are into that
xxx-xxxx(1): Newington?
xxx-xxxx(2: There's just something in the water...
xxx-xxxx(1): Next time i'm in town can we find a guy you can do it to? Will you let me watch?
xxx-xxxx(2): Sounds sexy, I should probably start scouting around though
xxx-xxxx(1): If you don't find someone I could fuck you with a strap on.
xxx-xxxx(2): I want it to be the other way around!
xxx-xxxx(1): Lets flip a coin, If you win it's gonna be a 4 inch, If I win its a 12 or sure.. i'll buy it

FUCK FINALS

STUDY THIS:
http://www.esarcasm.com/347/25-more-sexting-acronyms-parents-should-know/

an in-depth guide to making your sextual relationships easier, quicker, and more pleasurable

sext from above

xxx-xxxx(1): I wanna make babies wit you

xxx-xxxx(2): Ugh I wanna make so many hot babies. I 'm supposed to be writing a paper but I'd rather be having sex.

xxx-xxxx(1): A baby with both our genes will be fucking insane and beautiful and angelic!
xxx-xxxx(1): God, I'm so horny

xxx-xxxx(2): The craziest eyes ever! Too beautiful for earth. Outer space super model.

xxx-xxxx(1): Outer space blow job queens

xxx-xxxx(2):I know, I'm getting wet just thinking about it! Jesus, I wanna make love in the club!!

xxx-xxxx(1): I wanna make love on earth

xxx-xxxx(2):OMG I need to tweet you

xxx-xxxx(1): I wanna tweet you up and down

xxx-xxxx(2):I wanna tweet you inside out

xxx-xxxx(1): I wanna tweet you from behind

xxx-xxxx(2): Let me tweet you down

xxx-xxxx(1): I'm gonna tweet you till you moan...
xxx-xxxx(1): I'm gonan tweet you till you see stars, make you feel like home in space.

xxx-xxxx(2):I just died, I'm too horny to live

xxx-xxxx(1): Lets just fuck.

Turn the sext up at your next party.

Its really very easy. Start sexting, try to encourage other party goers to get in on the conversation. Before you know it, you'll have a room of dripping wet sexters who can't wait to get a peice of eachother.

Easy Orgy!

i'm literally dripping

this is stolen from www.textsfromlastnight.com but it is such a good sext i want to share it with you all:


(918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

just because we've been slacking on sexting doesn't mean we've been slacking on partying...

party tip: bring a tennis ball with you wherever you go in case you ever get bored/annoyed you can just play burn!

my 2 fav thingz

xxx-xxxx: i want to give you pills and suck your dick

just flowing freestylin

xxx-xxx1: i really like your ying yang...let me touch your thing thang?
xxx-xxx2: we can't have just another fling, mang. I'm like an angel with a broken wing wang.
xxx-xxx1: i was into it until the fat lady sing sang.then my telephone ring rang...
xxx-xxx2: you got another girl on the side like lucy ling lang?! Fuck this i'm gonna go drink some ting tang.
xxx-xxx1: bing bang!! ding, dang...only wanted to hang.then she unbuttoned my collar and sunk in her fing fangs.
xxx-xxx1: i let her. then she destroyed my sweater.

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

[saturday may 1st 2010, 9:36am]
xxx-xxxx: Feels good to be awake I'm so ready to lose myself and my virginity on this beautiful day. Amen.



ps-

wknd plans take an unexpected sexty turn

xxx-xxx1: r u outta comish this wknd?
xxx-xxx2: i'm thinkin about goin out but i can't drink, or laugh cuz it hurts. but that shouldn't be a problem if you're around..
xxx-xxx1: oh paleeze! i'll make those wounds gape and then pour a beer in them!
xxx-xxx1: [I'm just talking dirty right now]

you do the rhyme you do the time

xxx-xxx1: i'll make you quiver.
xxx-xxx2: give me shivers?
xxx-xxx1: i'm that kind of giver.
xxx-xxx2: me likey!
xxx-xxx1: i want you sooooo bad
xxx-xxx2: who is this?
xxx-xxx1: just a boy in hot pursuit.

memorieees

xxx-xxxx1: i think about fucking you all the time.
xxx-xxxx2: remember that time i made you cum so hard it went all over the kitchen floor? god, that was so hot. i've never seen/done anything like that before.
xxx-xxxx1: yea that was pretty cool until i had to get the mop out and clean the whole mess up... newayz

vlogish

Girls Just Want To Be Sexted - watch more funny videos

party tip

after you finish that bottle of andre champagne use it to play spin the bottle!!! reduce, reuse and recycle. make sure there are plenty of sexy teens in the room. yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!

this is why i sext

when i told my boss how i had some oysters last night with dinner he asked me if it was true about how they're supposed to be aphrodisiacs. i said i couldn't tell if they worked or not because i'm so horny all the goddamned time it wouldn't make a difference.

Are you turned on yet?

SEND YOUR SEXTS TO:
Jesusimhorny@gmail.com
(all anonymous- unless you prefer to be exposed...lol)

sext @ work

xxx-xxxx1: Are you ready to sext?
xxx-xxxx2: Totally, just start it off. Whisper me something sexy.
xxx-xxxx1: I wanna put you into a full nelson and lick your toes.
xxx-xxxx2: You have done it! I wanted to go get some coffee, but i can't leave my desk now because I have a boner.
xxx-xxxx1:Tell me more about that bone tone.
xxx-xxxx2: I have a pretty good boner going, and i can't conceal it because i'm wearing my work slacks and have my shirt tucked in...
xxx-xxxx1: Are they dockers? Are you playing pocket pool??
xxx-xxxx2: No, they're Brooks Brothers. Light beige Brooks Brothers. I'm not playing pocket pool, but i am masterbating.
xxx-xxxx1: You are making it really easy to fuel my fantasy.
xxx-xxxx2: Whats your fantasy!? Me, jerking off in my cubicle? BE HONEST!
xxx-xxxx1: Well i would be there of course...

too confused to sext/afraid of the unknown

xxx-xxx1: jesus i'm horny
xxx-xxx2: Would u like some assistance? I think jesus is busy
xxx-xxx1: Yes. I have a handsome vagina
xxx-xxx1: 860? That vag probably smells like Penns landing in july...
xxx-xxx2: do you have a fat weener?
xxx-xxx1: Connecticut huh ? i guess you're bridgeport white trash.. No ? really.. Do i know u? Were u my bitch back in grade school or something?

serious sextual tension

xxx-xxxx1:I'm sexting you
xxx-xxxx2: I'm sexting you from across the room.
xxx-xxxx1: I watched you sext me, It was very sexty.
xxx-xxxx2: Jesus, I'm horny
xxx-xxxx1: This is a lot weirder when I can see you.
xxx-xxxx2: just relax and let it happen...don't look at me.
xxx-xxxx1: I wanna throw tall beer cans towards your genitals
xxx-xxxx2: Make it a sext pack
xxx-xxxx1: Make it a facebook app
xxx-xxxx2: Run your fingers through my keys
xxx-xxxx1: Put your key in my lock and twist
xxx-xxxx2: Will you show me where your key is?
xxx-xxxx1: You already know, you're the keymaster. Just gotta find out whats behind the lock...

Pro Tipz n Skillz

Take your phone with you and sext while on the can at work. This way you can utilize all of your time to it's maximum potential. If boss asks "why you spendin so much time in that bathroom lately?" just say "i'm exploring my body", that'll do the trick. ;-)

werd of tha day

Flexting= sexting while pumpin iron in front of the mirror at the gym

Sweet Symphonies

xxx-xxxx1: Tell me your sextual fantasy...
xxx-xxxx2: Dressed up in civil war garb, you fucking me up the butt with a musket while Beethoven symphonies play backwards on a broken turntable. And we're sky diving.
xxx-xxxx1: I'm afraid of heights but I'll gladly be your musket master. Beethoven turns me on BIG TIME.
xxx-xxxx2: Yeah, he was a sexual master- we'll get some crescendos of our own going. Maybe you can reach around to my confederate flagpole.
xxx-xxxx1: I can hoist a good flagpole..let me be your nurse in our civil war reenactment.
xxx-xxxx2: Wet nurse, preferably. As long as i can be Abe Lincoln. I'll need a mighty tall, crooked hat to cover my lincoln log.
xxx-xxxx1: Ooohh Abe, let me tend to your wounds. Take that crooked hat off for the wettest nurse in this war. I'm yearning for your massive log...

bad timing... or maybe good

xxx-xxx1: I need that pussy
xxx-xxx2: tonight's not good for me i just got my period
xxx-xxx1: So I'll fuck u in the ass
xxx-xxx2: there's no way that you're huge cock is going to fit in there
xxx-xxx1: Sure it will after I taste it... where there's a will there's a way... first u'll cry then u'll moan

asspirationz (all true)

xxx-xxx: When Katherine Lee Bates took a wagon, or whatever, to the top of Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs she was so overcome by the landscape that she was moved to write America the Beautiful. Or when Stendahl had that fainting spell after being overcome by the beauty of the works of art in the Uffizi. That's how I felt today after seeing your ass. I couldn't check my reaction. It was I that I wouldn't even try and control.

I was a fool to believe..lol

xxx-xxxx1: Jesus, i'm horny!
xxx-xxxx2: Yah, i'm holding it thinking of you, but if you wanna know how big it is you need to find out for you..I promise it's worth it.
xxx-xxxx1: i love you soooo much 8-)
xxx-xxxx2: And i love you too :-) all i can think about is you.
xxx-xxxx1: Will you be my boy toy?
xxx-xxxx2:Yes i want to b ur toy, whatever you want i give. ill b nothing more than yours to fuck :)

sneak/snack attack?

xxx-xxxx: Come to karaoke!
xxx-xxxx: Thanks, but i would sincerely prefer to sext the taste outta yo mouth..

Hungry for Sext

xxx-xxxx: Whats your favorite condiment for use in sexual play?
xxx-xxxx: Definetly sour cream, let me be your burrito baby..

dream come true

xxx-xxxx: i wanna make you ying-yang pancakes the morning after i make you a dead-beat baby daddy < 3

strange but cool

xxx-xxxx: i have a thing for foxxxy anemic ladies

Mermaid Love

She has the sweetest taste of sand. Every bit I taste I want it more. Come closer.

word of the day

Chexting= sexting while eating party bag chex mix.

Immaculate Conception

xxx-xxxx: I sext you in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit. Amen

short and sweet

xxx-xxxx: my penis, your head...

uh oh

xxx-xxxx: are you doing all my ridalin and fucking strange men???

Foreign BlowJob Eyezz

xxx-xxxx: I saw you at partay; I happened to be getting bj from girlfriend (i'm from far away land) your eyes hypnotizes me, text me l8r beautiful blowjob eyez

classy sexting

xxx-xxxx: I wanna have a tea party with your C cups...

Just being Honest

xxx-xxxx: Jesus, I'm horny!

serious sextual needs

xxx-xxxx: Its ok ill put my balls on ur face when u cum back n then fuck u till u moan

problems in paradise

xxx-xxxx: I'm sooo bored of all these novice sexters we need to start scouting @ local middle/highschools those kids know what's up

opening statement

xxx-xxxx: How do you feel about vertical 69ing in the shower with the woman standing holding you upside down?